Grow Your Own Happiness

GYOH smlNo one’s life is perfect, no matter how it might look to the outside world. Attaining too much of one thing at the cost of another – even if that’s money, or success – doesn’t ensure happiness. The only thing you can’t have too much of is good health and true love.

This concise booklet is a walk-through of some of the most common stumbling blocks in life. It offers practical tips on how to turn things around by being pro-active and not reactive. It isn’t focused on helping those around you, but how to help yourself feel happier by regaining an element of control. No one is ever totally in control of their life because there will always be outside forces at work.

They do say that with age comes wisdom – but how are you supposed to manage in the meantime? The truth is that there are a few very basic principles, once learnt, that can help build your self-respect if you choose to master them. These little self-help tools can also save you a great deal of stress, time and energy.

Repeating a poor decision more than once might be a part of life’s rich learning process, but there are times when it’s simply a failure to understand what’s happening. The key is to recognise the difference.

The aim with this booklet is to help you avoid the unnecessary and achieve a calmer, happier, and hopefully more fulfilled, life – whatever your aims and objectives.

Here’s to the avoidance of the unnecessary and the achievement of your dreams.

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Excerpt:

Why is there so much ‘general’ unhappiness in the world?

No one’s life is perfect, no matter how it might look to the outside world. Attaining too much of one thing, at the cost of another – even if that’s money, power, or success – doesn’t ensure happiness. The only thing you can’t have too much of is good health and true love.

This concise booklet is a walk-through of some of the most common stumbling blocks in life. It offers practical tips on how to turn things around by being pro-active and not reactive. It isn’t focused on helping those around you, but how to help yourself feel happier by regaining an element of control. No one can ever claim to be totally in control of their life because there will always be outside forces at work.

They do say that with age comes wisdom – but how are you supposed to manage in the meantime? The truth is that there are a few very basic principles, once learnt, that can help build your self-respect if you choose to master them. These little self-help tools can also save you a great deal of stress, time and energy.

Repeating a poor decision more than once might be a part of life’s rich learning process, but there are times when it’s simply a failure to understand what’s happening. The key is to recognise the difference.

The aim of this booklet is to help you avoid the unnecessary and achieve a calmer, happier, and, hopefully, more fulfilled life –whatever your aims and objectives.

Here’s to the avoidance of the unnecessary and the achievement of your dreams.

The BIG question is ~

Who controls YOUR life?

Do you ever feel that your life is rather like being a passenger on a runaway train? You know something is wrong, but feel that – for a whole host of different reasons – it’s all beyond your control?

Or maybe you have a dream, something you’d love to do but paying the bills, raising the family, taking care of loved ones etc., has to be priority number one. And then there never is any time left to take that first step, is there? Well, that isn’t necessarily the case.

Your perception is that other people seem to make progress, but your life is like ground hog day. Nothing ever changes and it has no spark.

There is, and always will be a reason not to do something. If it’s not lack of time, money, or opportunity, then it’s probably fear of the unknown. All are legitimate reasons, of course, but the outcome is the same. You feel stuck. You are that passenger on the train which is going so fast it’s impossible to jump off, so you feel you are at the mercy of factors outside of your control. Whether that’s a situation, a person, or fate, doesn’t really matter because the result is the same, you feel helpless.

It’s rather like having to admit Father Christmas isn’t real. It hurts because who wants to face the reality that there is no magic wand to fix everything that goes wrong in life? There are no guarantees. However, realising that negatives can have a varying scale of impact if we choose to manage them, is liberating. You can fight back and learn to embrace the positive within the negative, while accepting there are some things you simply cannot change.

No one’s life is perfect, because of the nature of our existence.

Don’t spend too much time thinking and planning, as opposed to doing. Organise your life so you can exert a level of control over it. Gaining a little freedom from the things that feel like a constant grind requires action and self-motivation. Don’t hesitate, make a start and gradually you will feel as if a load has been, quite literally, lifted from your shoulders.

No matter what your aspirations are, or what you feel is wrong with your life, each of us will have our own unique set of circumstances.

There might be something you’d love to achieve.

Or you simply want to free up some time to relax.

Maybe it’s about regaining a sense of control.

Or learning how to feel good about you.

It doesn’t matter what you are seeking – the process is the same and that’s what makes it so simple. I’m not saying it’s easy; nothing worthwhile ever is – if you want to lead a healthy lifestyle you have to eat well and exercise. No one can do that for you.

The feeling of being in control is empowering. Often it brings a sense of both relief, and belief in yourself which might have been eroded over time. Instead of clinging on to past failures and disappointments, learn to stop looking back. From now on set your sights very positively on the future!

However, there’s little point in feeling happy and in control if it leaves your partner reeling and wondering ‘who is this stranger?’ If your increased levels of happiness are at their expense, then either you don’t have the balance right, or you aren’t on the same page as each other. This is a red flag. While they might be unhappy if you are totally disorganised in general, and veer from one bad idea to another, there has to be a mutual benefit. Any relationship requires total honesty and open lines of communication. Don’t grow apart by being so focused on sorting yourself out, that you don’t stop to check whether where you are heading fits in with your overall aims as a couple. I can’t stress this enough, because often a partner is also the one person who can look at your life and see beyond what the outside world is able to view.

Sometimes, personal growth is at a cost and people do ‘outgrow’ each other – that’s why relationships fail. For a lot of people the main person they will talk to about their plans is their significant other. Sometimes what they say will save you from losing a healthy perspective. But if they are backing you – and you are backing them – then you may well agree that some short-term sacrifices are worthwhile. Ultimately you will end up with a stronger relationship and a happier life if you work as a team, and have mutual respect for each other’s aims in life.

When it comes to making your life more about ‘happiness’ and less about feeling like a victim, being constantly under pressure, and losing sight of what’s important, you have to work at it.

Be a starter/finisher. Decide that now is the time to make the change that will have a real impact on all of your tomorrows. Choose not to live your life feeling miserable. Yes, bad and sad things will still happen, but grabbing onto as much happiness as, and when you can, will help see you through those times.

The Back on Track aids at the end of this booklet are a series of focus sheets, or pick-me-ups. Having a really bad day? Then dip in and re-energise yourself. The tips are there to remind you of a few simple facts, aimed at making you stop and think. Make conscious decisions and be aware of why things have a tendency to go wrong. What you are going through happens to the vast majority of people at some point in their lives. You aren’t being personally targeted by fate, life, or people, because you aren’t good enough. We are all failures some of the time and, when things go well, triumphant winners.

No one wins all of the time. If such a person does exist, that doesn’t mean to say they are happy.

Money doesn’t make for happiness, but severe lack of money will make for unhappiness, because it then becomes a worry. Don’t aim to become a millionaire, instead have a set of goals that will allow you to work towards lessening your financial burdens. If that doesn’t involve doing something you really enjoy, then at least make it a way of paying the bills and allowing you free time for the things you love to do. If you regularly spend time doing what makes you feel happy, then that part of your life will flourish. You’ll grow in confidence and that will impact upon every single aspect of your life…