As a writer I spend untold hours in the company of characters whose lives unfold with every word I write. My time is spent shaping their emotional journey and it’s akin to being a passenger on a roller-coaster ride. I draw deeply upon my own emotional experiences and often find myself having to take those feelings to the extreme in order to develop a story.
But there are two sides to an author’s writing life – penning the stories themselves and the promotional side. Some days it feels like stepping off of one ‘ride’, only to climb onto another. Publishing might be one of the most thrilling businesses to be in, but it also tests you to the max!
Negativity is never very far away, is it? A part of my ‘working smarter and not harder‘ initiative (six months in and each day gets a little easier, I promise, if you decide to try it for yourself), is to avoid unnecessary stress and negativity.
Life without a certain level of stress is not only an impossibility, but it would be rather … ordinary, lack-lustre. I enjoy the pressure of a deadline, or a last-minute request, and the adrenalin kicks in releasing those happy endorphins – a natural opiate!
Re-organising all aspects of my life to allow me time to indulge in some things I do purely for pleasure, has definitely seen a rise in those happy little fellas telling my brain my work/life balance is improving! So when I am under pressure/stress it’s easier to cope with it, as I’m starting from a more relaxed place.
Negativity, though, is like dodging bullets coming at you from all angles. Switching off from people who – somehow, and often without realising it – sow seeds of self-doubt or blatant negativity around you, is actually easy once you recognise how harmful that is to you. However, negativity can also come from within and that’s far more dangerous and powerful!
At the risk of sounding like a wanna-be life coach who hasn’t had the necessary training … what I want to say is that living life IS a training ground. Negativity will ONLY exist in your life if you CHOOSE to embrace it – and why would you? The choice really is YOURS.
As you can probably tell, I’ve recently had reason to spend a lot of time delving deeply into some very raw emotions surrounding negativity, as I worked on my most recent novel. It’s useful and often invaluable, because it makes me think about specific things from all angles – his point of view, her point of view … and my point of view!
In Sweet Occasions, Katie’s relationship with her partner is complicated by so many draining emotions – coping with a life-changing illness, disappointment, loyalty and fear of change. She loses touch with what matters to her, deep down inside, and is on the brink of sacrificing her own dream for altruistic reasons.
She has realised her life’s dream of setting up her own bakery. Her main aim is to be able to pay the bills and grow the business gradually, doing something that has been a life-long passion. Her partner, Steve, is a business advisor and he’s the voice of negativity in her life – ‘You have to run a business with your head and not your heart, Katie!’
Great advice, we know, but those around you see YOUR life from a slightly different perspective, coloured by their own goals, experiences, and aims in life. What works for one person, isn’t necessarily right for another. The moral here? Distance yourself from negativity, but also don’t be a CREATOR of negativity. Whether that’s internally, or by unwittingly being a purveyor of negativity to those around you.
Love someone enough to understand their dream and trust that even if it all falls apart, at least they won’t have to live with ‘if only I’d …’. They will simply pick themselves up and move on. As we all do.
Just remember those two little words – I CAN and if it turns out that YOU CAN’T, simply try another way or something else … no experience is ever wasted!
Until next time …
Katie’s relationship has had more than its fair share of problems. After a difficult few years things begin to pick up and Katie finally realises her dream of opening up a bakery. Sweet Occasions specialises in novelty and celebration cakes, plus the most inspiring range of cupcakes anyone could possibly ask for!