Risks? This is LOVE we are talking about here, isn’t it? Yes.
I think young Sam in the film Love Actually (2003 – Richard Curtis – see the quote in context here) – put it very succinctly when he was explaining to his step-father, Daniel, about the girl he worshipped from afar. Daniel’s response (to Sam’s odd behaviour following the death of his mum) was:
“Oh, OK, right. Well, I’m a little relieved. I thought it might be something worse.”
“Worse than the total agony of being in love?”
Is it agony? Yes, it can be, and even when things go well, the effects on the brain and body from hormones, adrenaline and pheromones is a lethal cocktail. I came across this article by Andrew Koltonow that informs us that ‘Twelve to 18 months into a relationship, both serotonin and the stress molecules are restored to normal levels’ … and it gives way to calm and joy’.
Redeemed!
Why was I researching the physiological symptoms of falling in love? Well, I’m a novelist and writing love stories is what I do! But the tremendous excitement of falling in love with ‘the one’ has never, ever left me – even though those feelings are now lovingly wrapped in emotions that run much, much deeper.
So I’m going to be celebrating February, the ‘the month of love’ on my AuthorLinnBHalton Facebook page with love quotes that resonate with me and also with my favourite quotes from my own novels.
What’s the most powerful thing I’ve written so far, to sum up the devastation when love ends? In Falling: Angels Among Us The Complete Series, Ceri is forced to walk away from the person she believes is her soul mate:
Ceri
I knew each step towards building my new life was going to be mercilessly straightforward. I would have welcomed a battle, if only to have an excuse to let rip the horrible mix of emotion within me. The path mapped out before me is clear. The plan was merely to disconnect myself from Alex completely, so that he would realise it was over between us. Alicia is his future, but it’s too soon for him to understand that. The circumstances have yet to unfold.
I threw my SIM card away and purchased a new number as soon as I’d found a place to rent. It was on the other side of town, so there was little likelihood of bumping into Alex and it meant I could still keep my day job. It is all happening so instinctively now I’m really listening to what my core vibes are telling me, that I hardly have to tune in. This isn’t about starting over again, only correcting one painful mistake: sleeping with Alex, oh, and falling in love with him.
I try to accept the inevitable, simply because I – of all people – should know better. Alex’s pain wears more heavily upon me than my own. He emails me dozens of times each day.
I will never stop loving you until my last breath…
I need you, I can breathe without you. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat…
I know you would not do this to us unless you had no choice…
I forgive you, but I cannot believe in a divine power who would think of our love as anything other than something extraordinary and meaningful. I go on because I’m too cowardly to take the easy way out…
I lie in bed at night and my hands remember your body, my mouth longs to kiss you just one more time…
Nothing matters to me now, without you by my side. I will accept it because I know how much you love me. You can’t hide that from me. We belong to each other no matter what…
There has to be something we can do, Ceri, I can’t accept this. I don’t care if I go to hell, if that’s the price I have to pay…
His emails are long, his mood swings reflect the emotional roller-coaster he’s on, one moment desperate and the next forgiving. Each one tears another hole in what’s left of my heart.
Yes, love is TOTAL agony at times – but it’s also delicious, thrilling and reminds us we are ALIVE!
Until next time …
