It was the start of a change in my thinking, although at that point I still wasn’t sure what it all meant. Then my husband had his first experience and we talked about a subject that we had both previously avoided. In the five years between that significant turning point in our lives and the death of my mother in 2009, there were many incidents, some of which were shared by both my husband and myself. However, it wasn’t until after her death that I had what I now refer to as my ‘epiphany’. The point at which I began to see that this ‘spirit stuff’, the existence of an ‘afterlife’, and God were all linked. Like a jigsaw puzzle, but it was still hard to take it all in, because this meant something to me – the validation I was receiving was personal and it was real. Not just something I’d read that was another person’s account, or someone’s viewpoint.
I’d given up work to spend more time with my mother when she became unwell, and none of us realised she would die just three months later. Whilst handling all of the unpleasant practical things that have to be done after someone dies, I started to write a novel. It was my way of ‘tuning out’ when it all became too much for me. This wasn’t ‘out of the blue’, I’ve always written poetry and kept a journal of ideas for storylines that I intended to write when I retired. As soon as that first ‘novel’ was written, but before I could begin submitting a synopsis to publishers, a chance visit to an ‘Evening of Clairvoyance’ triggered something.
I woke up the following morning with my head full of memories – some so distant I had almost forgotten about them. I was compelled to sit for hours in front of the computer, just to clear my head. I had to buy a hand-held recorder and would talk whilst in the bath, or driving because the flow was so intense. The result was ‘Being A Sceptic Is Oh So Easy’. The story of many of the psychic experiences I have had in my life, that I subsequently realised went back to early childhood.
I came to realise that my mother was firmly by my side whilst I was writing this and I believe it was her gift to me. The final bringing together of many of the things I’ve seen, felt or heard from personal experiences and visits to mediums to make contact with my parents. I also found myself exploring my thoughts about coincidence, luck, déjà vu etc and when I saw it in print I realised what a journey it had been. However, it was never my intention to publish it and I put the hard copy of the manuscript in a box under my desk. It was out of my head and down on paper; that was enough to satisfy my spirit helper.
My first novel was published in February 2011 and having one book out in hardcover, as a part of my path as a writer I decided to test the water with a self-publish on Kindle. I chose one of my other ‘completed’ fiction manuscripts, but every time I settled down to do a final edit, something would crop up. After a few weeks I said to my husband ‘I don’t think this is the right manuscript to put out on Kindle. I feel like something is purposely stopping me proceeding and I’m being drawn to re-read ‘Being A Sceptic’.’ So I did re-read it and for whatever reason, it felt right that this should be my next project. It’s not a full autobiography but it is, by nature, autobiographical and the question has to be asked ‘Why would anyone want to read this?’. The answer to that is I believe that if you have lost someone and felt a connection after that loss – or have had a personal psychic experience and convinced yourself it was just your imagination, you might identify with my story. There is often a lot of comfort to be gained from sharing things with other people; since launching my website I frequently get communications from people who have had similar experiences to my own. I count it as an honour when someone decides to tell me their little story, when often they are unable to tell it to those closest to them.