It’s been a while since I had the time to blog, but I’m sure many people would agree that sharing can be a very cathartic process. So, here is the first post in a series I’m calling: The Happiness Factor. I will be sharing my top tips on everything – from the world of writing, to interior design ideas and anything in between, which I think might help someone else on their own life journey! In particular, the things that help to keep me sane, despite the madness swirling around me.
Grabbing life and running with it has always been my motto. But that’s easy to say and the reality is that life is never easy for any of us!
It’s taken me three years to re-balance my life and I did this by telling myself I needed to work SMARTER and not HARDER. In truth, I couldn’t possibly have worked any harder. But everything I was doing at that time meant something to me, so there were some very tough choices to be made.
After running the online e-magazine Loveahappyending.com, it was very sad to say goodbye to it because the editors, contributors and readers had become a big part of my life. But I was also a writer, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a friend, and a colleague.
What I learnt was that if you spread yourself too thinly then this is what happens:
a) you end up frazzled
b) when something insignificant goes wrong it can often feel like the final straw
c) you start to feel guilty if you can’t be everything to everyone and instantly available
d) opportunities that come your way begin to pose a real dilemma as you know that grabbing them could leave you feeling conflicted
So what is the answer to maintaining one’s sanity?
Well, you sit and meditate. What are your hopes and dreams? What will it take for YOU to remain happy and motivated, so you can continue to fulfil all those other roles you have in your life?
I learnt that letting go is hard.
I learnt that I deserved to think about what I wanted and not just think about other people, because it gave my life balance.
Balance made me happier and saying ‘no’ is sometimes the only way to maintain one’s sanity.
Three years on and I’m now the author of an Amazon UK top 5 novel ‘Snowflakes over Holly Cove’. And in that time I’ve had another six novels published by two different publishers. Thanks to my lovely readers, they have all had best-seller flags around the world and as an author that is what keeps me writing. It’s the thought that people are escaping into my stories that validates the work I do and that’s reader power, folks!
But even when you do something you love, and you work hard to keep that life/work balance in check as best you can, stress is never far away. I’ve just been through one of the most exciting, stressful, exhilarating and testing months of my life. Everything from major work decisions, to celebrating the 10th anniversary of the loss of my lovely mum.
And what I discovered was that three years on from my major working smarter – not harder initiative, it was time for another overhaul!
This time I had to go back to basics and that was to get back in touch with the inner me. With a massively busy work desk and meetings requiring travel, family commitments and a cold that felt more like the ‘flu, I will admit it knocked me sideways.
I allowed myself some guilt-free down time. Now, as a person who thrives on being productive, achieving something – whether it’s painting a wall, cleaning the house, or writing a book – that’s not easy for me to do. Five minutes sitting in the garden and I’m bored, so I’m up and weeding. But my gut instincts were telling me I needed to rest, relax and think.
I used the time to catch up on one of my favourite past times – discovering what the planetary alignments were doing to make this particular Gemini’s life so crazy! I follow the awesome Susan Miller:
https://www.astrologyzone.com/horoscopes/
And I also spent time on YouTube watching tarot readings by the inspirational Nicholas Ashbaugh and Adalina Bonn:
https://www.youtube.com/user/NicholasTarot/videos
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf1jlrBcrRy0UI1H7L273RQ
The result was that I shook that flu-like cold much more quickly than a lot of people I knew who also had it. I came to terms with some very difficult decisions (more news on that to come) and I recharged my batteries. It also helped to explain why life was speeding up, and for those who believe in this sort of thing, that is an ENORMOUS help. It wasn’t just me, honestly – many Geminis would have felt the effects!
Am I super excited about my next steps? Absolutely!
Did I fight off the stress demons? Yes!
Now, you might not be into astrology or tarot. Your go-to relaxation/support mechanisms/head-clearing aids might be listening to music, or watching films. Or nights out with friends…
Whatever works for you, it’s important to realise WHEN you need to take that time out and WHAT works best. Try to avoid things you might end up regretting – a shopping spree, or comfort eating (a little is fine in my book!) for example. And feel confident that the people around you will understand if you suddenly need to spirit yourself away to a quiet place for a short while. Those who don’t, don’t really know or care for you.
I’m back working on edits for my next Christmas novel and feeling re-energised. And grateful to Susan, Nicholas and Adalina for their part in lifting my spirits and reminding me to listen to what my gut instincts were trying to tell me.
I thought it would also be fun to talk about my ‘best buys‘ – I do love a bargain and this handbag/backpack from makers Bessie was only £25 from TK Maxx! If you haven’t discovered this range of bags here is their website: https://www.bessielondon.com/
Good quality bags at affordable prices and some beautiful designs!
In future posts I will share products I’ve purchased which for one reason or another, I’ve found a boon. In particular, a back-brace I use when I’m spending long hours at the keyboard; and products I use to create a relaxing environment in my study.
I knew in early 2019 that it was going to be an exciting year, but that means lots of hard work and making sure I keep myself in good shape physically and mentally. So, of course, I’ll also be sharing my top tips on that, too!
Wishing everyone a happy April – thanks so much for dropping by and do pop back to check out
the next Happiness Factor blog, which will include:
My favourite Feng Shui practices;
why the annual clean/de-clutter is a good idea (yes, really!)
and why walking into your favourite room
should always make you smile!
Please note – all opinions are my own. Any products/links I share are because I have purchased, or used the product, and I have no affiliation with the product/person/organisation. As they say – sharing is caring and if you find something you like then job done! Until next time…
